Mocha Hut
1301 U St. NW
Washington, DC

Mocha Hut is located in the vibrant U street corridor in Washington DC. A great historic district that like many areas in the district has experienced a resurgence in the last few years

The Mocha hut sits squarely in the middle of it all, a curiously popular local meeting place that looks new on the outside, and like it used to be another business that was recently converted to Mocha Hut on the inside. First impression: In short the place looked like it needed a good scrubbing; The floors looked like they needed a sweep. Our table was unwiped and splattered with milk, while numerous old bits of tape were stuck on a far wall where something decorative obviously used to hang. A mess of magazines, sugar, stirrers and napkins sat up front that was such a “dog’s breakfast” I almost considered not adding sugar to my coffee. It begs the question, “Where does the urban edgy cafe look tip over into just plain messy?

Anyways, the true test of the coffee is in the cup. I’m afraid I have to report that if Mocha Hut want anything close to one bean, they are going to have to do far better than this. First up the espresso – quite bluntly, it was pulled way too long and was as sour as can be. I’m almost sick of the sound of my own voice describing this all too familiar pattern in US cafes. In a wierd twist of inconsistency – My caffe latte tasted as close to not having any coffee in it as possible, like a warm cup of milk (I think they forgot to put a shot in there at all!). Additionally there was absolutely no volume in the texture of the milk. Just a flat, bland drink. For my additional enjoyment an unpleasant aftertaste followed. So, I was confused as to exactly why the place was packed on this sunny Saturday morning. However a quick glance around the room reveals a sea of frappacinos and it all becomes crystal clear. A bit of sugar and a load of cream must do wonders.

Coffee: Java Journey

Soho Cafe

Corner P and 23rd St

Washington DC

If you were a gambler, and had the ability to predict the future, think of the possibilities. You could essentially avoid bad circumstance. Therefore I’m blaming my current coffee “losing streak”, to borrow from sporting parlance, on the sheer lack of a crystal ball. Unfortunately even the CaFFeind can’t provide any Oracle like guidance how to get out of my current sad-state of coffee affairs. With that lead in, you’d already be guessing that my recent trip to Soho Cafe was not a great coffee experience. While 2008 was the year of surprised caffeine promise, 2009 is proving to be the year of the broken coffee heart.

I hesitate to ever use the word swill. It’s far too strongly denouncing of a beverage and has implications of a piggery that typically doesn’t fit the atmosphere of a cafe, particularly this one. However, what I can I say is that the “espresso” I received was a sloppy, watery, half-cup of nasty sour coffee. Frankly, I would have preferred to consume a cup of white vinegar. Despite plenty of notable exceptions in Washington, I’m not sure if the general lack of espresso ability I encounter on a day to day basis is because Americans prefer brewed coffee, or the reason they do. Either way, I’m seriously considering joining the ranks of Atomic owners…..

No beans

Caribou Coffee

1800 M St NW,

Washington, DC

After racking up a miserable 0/2 start in the coffee department for Washington DC in 2009, you’d think it was time for some better luck. I’ve generally resisted reviewing big-chain coffee joints because, like the wandering star, they all seem pretty same-ish to me and not in a good way. I last walked into a Caribou Coffee store in 2003 while visiting the US on vacation. I liked the then-novelty factor of what seemed like sitting in a log cabin living room in the middle of the woods by a roaring fireplace. However I was unimpressed with the barista’s effort and I remember it vividly; a sour espresso shot with milk that was so hot I actually scalded my mouth. So on this visit, I can’t say I was completely surprised when I was greeted not by a shiny espresso machine, but by a couple of fully-automated Franke machines that wouldn’t look out of place in a home kitchen. Yes, it seems Caribou management have taken the quality control factor on their baristas to a logical extreme, and removed the act of grinding, tamping and pulling a shot altogether. Now they have a hopper feeding directly into an automated chamber which, in a quick press of a button produces a rapid cup of espresso-based whatever before you manage to cross from the register to the waiting area.

As always I ordered an espresso and a caffe latte. Straight to the heart of the matter – My espresso was roughly 4 ounces of highly acidic, watery coffee, with a really, really unpleasant aftertaste. The latte was fairly similar, just with a so-so effort of milk texture on top. If this is quality control, I’m a monkey’s uncle. After taking my first and last sip, I heard a woman behind me loudly proclaim: “This is my first espresso ever”. I thought to myself: “…and probably your last”.

No beans.

Coffee: Caribou Blend